By Luigi S. - Narconon Arrowhead Graduate

My name is Luigi and I am 26 years of age. I am originally from Galesburg, IL. I started using cocaine sporadically while I was enrolled as a student at Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. Over time, my friends and I began to use cocaine on an every weekend basis. During this time, I felt as though I was in total control over my usage of the drug, and rationalized that it was not negatively affecting my life. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Engineering, and then went back to Galesburg to live with my parents and search for the best job.

While in Galesburg, I found that many of my old "friends" were using cocaine as well. I began to use it more frequently, and in larger amounts. I knew that I was beginning to like the drug more and more, and began to worry that I might be developing an addiction. I was offered an excellent engineering position with a company in Venice, FL, and I took it. I was glad to leave the drug scene in my hometown and excited to start my new career in Florida. After three months, my career was looking great and I loved my job. However, some problems soon arose in my life that I had difficulty confronting.

I found myself overwhelmed with undesirable emotions, and in a miserable state of existence. I began to crave cocaine, and turned towards its use as the solution of my problems. I soon reverted back to my old behavior, and made friends with those in the drug culture. I began using cocaine on the weekends, and periodically during the week. It did not take long before I began using it on a daily basis, and I knew that I was in trouble. However, I could not stop no matter how much I wanted to. Cocaine completely took control of my life, and I was no longer in the driver's seat.

The conditions of all aspects of my life including my career were plummeting. I continued through the downward spiral of addiction, and distanced myself from all that was good in my life, including family, friends, and co-workers. My addiction then advanced to crack cocaine. After nearly being killed by drug dealers, I finally came to terms that I needed out and that I could not do it alone. I turned to my family for help, and this was very hard to do. They were heart broken, and so was I. I quit my job and moved back home with my family. It seemed like the best decision at that time. After returning home, I still had horrible cravings for crack cocaine, irrational thoughts, and strong emotions which I could not confront. I began to covertly use crack cocaine, hiding my use from my friends and family.

My parents tried to help me and I pushed them away. I took off and maxed out all of my credit cards, liquidated all of my financial accounts, and sold all of my assets. I needed cocaine, and nothing was going to get into my way. I spent near $150,000.00 over two years on cocaine until there was nothing left. I burned every bridge with friends, and I put my whole family through a living hell.

I finally checked myself into a 21-day inpatient 12-step rehabilitation program. I was miserable the whole time there, but I put forth my best effort to overcoming my addiction. After I completed the program, I began outpatient group therapy, and attended 12-step meetings. I was miserable, and I wanted to get high. I relapsed after 2 weeks. I continued with my miserable existence of living with friends and family and relapsing every few weeks, breaking what little trust I had with them over and over. I wanted to stop using, and I wanted nothing more than my life back. I could overcome a craving here and there, but it was only a matter of time before I was overpowered by my addiction, becoming a spectator to myself driving to one of the many crack dealers in my hometown. I would have rather died then to have continued on this way. I went home to my family after a 3 day relapse with no sleep, and told them that I was going to die if I did not go somewhere for a long time to handle this. I researched the internet with my mother for days and contacted a handful of rehabilitation programs.

One of the inpatient programs that I was investigating was the Narconon® program at the Narconon Arrowhead facility. I was especially interested in this program because it offered a solution to the biophysical aspects of addiction by means of a sauna detoxification program. It also interested me because it followed up by handling the mental and emotional aspects of addiction through a series of courses and counseling rather than in a group therapy setting. I did not like 12-step meetings, and I found group therapy to be rather depressing. I was also interested in the Narconon program because it was a medium to long-term program, meaning that I would be there for a period of about 3 to 4 months.

My family and I decided that this would be the best program for me. I completed the Narconon program after 4 ½ months, and I was blown away by the results that I achieved throughout the entirety of the program. I consider myself to be a fully recovered addict now, and I am a happier, more stable, and competent person then I was before my addiction ever began. I never experience drug cravings, and I tackle all problems that I face in life head on. I understand myself better, and I no longer carry around the burden of my horrible past. I almost gave up my will to live during my addiction, especially after I lost hope that there could be a solution.

I am very fortunate to have found this program, because it turned out to be the only workable solution to my addiction. I feel as though I need to share my drug addiction experience with others because I know that there are many addicts currently suffering at this moment in time, and I don't want them to lose hope, because there is a way out.